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Friday, June 27, 2008

It's like a soft focus lens.


Garvin's always whining and bitching that I don't take picture for or with him anymore, so here's a picture taken by my sister in law Heather during a party. She'd had almost one full beer, and apparently this is what happens to her motor skills. We look slightly less blurry in real life.

Friday, May 09, 2008

Desktop

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

Louise is nosy.



Here's Louise being curious.

Centaur Shadow.

My shadow gives me the shadow of a centaur, as opposed to real life wherein I have the body of a twelve year old boy. That fine looking piece of tail belongs to Stephen Tyler Jr, six months old and fifty pounds already.


Saturday, April 07, 2007

I am going to go here.

This is a picture of rural China.



I've been in love with China ever since I started reading Pearl S. Buck at the age of 14, and I want to go see it for myself. There are a few obstacles, of course. Money, always. Plus I'd need to get a passport, and I think I have to get my picture taken at the post office and I've become sort of anti-the Post Office lately. Still, these are minor obstacles and I'm sure I can overcome them.

Tonight I told Bryan that I want to see the rural Chinese countryside by the age of 30. He'd better get to "steppe"-ing, if this picture is any indication. ("Oh Snap!," nerdy agricultural-style.)

Tuesday, April 03, 2007

I laughed so hard.

If you're familiar with the Black Eyed Peas song "My Hump," this will have you rolling with laughter. Here is Alanis, performing an amazing emo-style spoof.

Sunday, April 01, 2007

Fuck you, SkyMall!

 

Just found this in our Christmas in Florida pictures. SkyMall was advertising this cereal dispenser. Since when is making a bowl of cereal hard??
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Six weeks old.

 

I just found this picture of Steve as a real puppy. Look how tiny he is! I believe in this picture he was being protected from a big bad dairy cow who is just outside of the shot.
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Yin and Yang.

 
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Tolerance

 
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Louise and her favorite toy.

 

Attention knitters: another reason to knot gauge swatches! Cats LOVE them.
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Bad Steve!

 

Steve knocked me down to say "hello." I would have preferred he said it with flowers.
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Bad Steve!

 
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Tacky dress!

 
 
 

Nothing makes your butt look bizarre like wrapping it in bright sequins. I suppose the sharpie tattoo drawn on by my Lady didn't help. I also included a picture that prove I can in fact wear eye makeup, although I doubt it's going to come off any time soon.
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My Lady and Me!

 

This was my Christmas present from Vikki. She had an artist friend draw a picture of the two of us. I think this is absolutely glorious and am going to frame it, as soon as I have time to buy a frame.
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Wii are tennis supersetars!

 

Hurrah! Skip, Pat and I are Tennis pros!
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Cat looking a wee bit :"Carrie."

 

Poor Cat, she did not win a medal. She does however look a bit like Sarah Jessica Parker in this picture, and that's pretty rad.
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Poooor Jenny.

 

Poor Jenny, she did not a win a medal. Better luck next time! :(
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True athletes.

 

These are the faces of some serious performers.
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Wii are the champions.

 

Bryan, Pat and Harrison bask in their glory.
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Now that's some quality workmanship.

 

Even with one kidney, Skip out performs the rest.
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Hooray for Pat!

 

Pat wins a medal. Good for him!
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Winning is more important than babysitting.

 

Anakin ("Nanners") looks at the balcony longingly, while I demonstrate that my medal-making skills are sub-par when it comes to demonstrating lengh. I wore that bronze medal over my crotch with pride.
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Yay Stallion!

 

Harrison "The Stallion" Ambs demonstrates that his Grape Bronze Medal is doing its job in preventing him from stinking too badly at cyber-athletics. Also, Skipper watches and thinks "I wish I had me some of that!"
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Wii Baseball (?) winners

 

Rich, third (REFUSED to wear his medal), Me second (how, I don't know, because I suck), Bryan gold.
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Wii Boxing Winners

 

Harrison=bronze, Nicole=silver, Bryan=gold
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Nicole wins!

 


Nicole wins a silver medal in Wii boxing.
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Wii Tournament

 

I'm not sure what game this was from, but Nicole, Skip and Harrison apparently got crowned. I think this was the point where Skip decided Nicole needed to sleep with him. I don't know, maybe he'd have had better luck without the sunglasses, 'cause they're kinda creepy.
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Sunday, March 18, 2007

Time with yarn! And a camera!

Over the past month and a half I've been too busy to do much knitting. To be fair, I've been too busy to do much of anything. Today I went to the library and bought a book on projects that can be made with one skein and in my desperation for something--anything--finished and wearable, I lowered my standards and crocheted my self a hippie hat.

Yeah, I know, crochet is for 90 year olds from Parma, whereas I am an 80 year old from Avon Lake. Hey! Shut up! There's a difference!

Anyway, yeah, I look really tired. It could be bilious green is not my color. Or perhaps yellow overhead bathroom lighting is not so forgiving when you've been waking up at 5:30 every day and working in cubicles. Or maybe I should just give up and realize I need more makeup than just the occasional half-hearted smear of concealer under my eyes. Whatever, my hat is freaking sweat.



I decided to also show off my Lady's "emo scarf," which I knit in lilac and grey to match her emo sweater. Look how gorgeous these colors are.



It's so beautiful it made me hurt on the inside, because why can't people of contrasting colors knit THEMSELVES together in harmony like a chunky ribbed stockinette scarf? The lilac and grey mirror the bruising in my heart. It was so sad I sat in front of my trendy pirate shower curtain and took an emo self picture, just for Vikki. Again, eyeliner would probably help or something. I don't know. Or some sun.



The emo scarf and the hat have kind of worked to hide my need for a haircut, and for that they have served their purpose. Oh, and one last photo for my mom. It's my sweater now, ah ha ha ha ha ha ha! I'll relinquish it for a sandwich. Or some pie. Your choice.

Friday, February 16, 2007

I made a hat!































Here are picture of the Browns "helmet" I finally managed to finish. It's the first time I've actually managed to knit a hat to gauge, so that it doesn't fit a pumpkin instead of a human head. The pictures don't show it, but I accidentally followed the pattern I was using for size TOO closely and I ended up knitting peace signs into the ear flaps instead of making them plain, which was the plan. Thanks to knitty.com for the great pattern, and please excuse my liberties with the design and colors!

Thursday, January 11, 2007

Bryan and his mom.

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Vikki will cut you.

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Bryan and his Grandma.

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Bryan and my Grandma.

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We were talking about Primus.

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So sexy, how can you stand us?

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Uh...

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This was right before he shoved me down the aisle.

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Huzzah!

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Our photographer helps us pop the cork.

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The whitest wedding party ever.

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It's a good thing we weren't in a church.

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Furry porn!

 
Thanks, Kurt! Posted by Picasa

Upskirt!

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Damn, it feels good to be a gangsta.

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My beautiful best friend with the sexy legs.

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The in-laws.

 
New sisters Heather and Robin, brother Rick, and parents who I still call Mr. & Mrs. G. Posted by Picasa

All the better to see you with...

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The fam-damily.

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Tranny face!

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Skip driving mom to drink. Literally.

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What's wrong with this picture?

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God, we're hot.

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Skipper, GQ except for the communicator.

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Hummingbird hands.

 
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Steve

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Steve and Jerome learn to love.

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Thursday, January 04, 2007

I got highlights.



One of the attorneys at work decided she wanted to help me try to go back to my natural haircolor, whatever the hell that is. We decided highlighting it back slowly would decrease the odds that I would freak out when I saw it, so here's the front after treatment number one. It's subtle, but I'm glad I'm going slowly. For some reason my hair is growing in super thick and curly which is part of the problem---I guess it's really unusual for hair to come in curly at the age of 24 and I can only assume it has to do with my medications, or my improved health. Maybe I'm absorbing more vitamins or something. Or I don't know, maybe I'm just a freak. We're sort of theorizing that in another year my whole head will be curly and I'll look like a poodle. That'll be hot. I can't wait.

Monday, December 11, 2006

Pat's pants, and an inflatable penis.

 

Here's a fun picture from a few months ago. These are Pat's fat pants, the ones he wore before losing over 70 pounds. I can fit my entire body in one let. The penis is from my bachelorette party and I keep forgetting to take it off the bookshelf. It was sort of embarassing when Pat's mom and two year old son came to visit.
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Scar at 11 1/2 months, and why are these pictures so blurry?



Here's what a kidney transplant scar looks ilke at almost a year old. You'll see it's still longer than I am wide, although if i keep eating six meals a day I'm sure I'll be much wider before long.



I was trying to be artsy with my mirrors and stuff to show my "before" hair, but this camera only takes blurry pictures unless you have it resting on a flat surface, and even then half of them turn out like shit. So this is the only one that doesn't suck. For some reason you need to have the camera IN the picture for it to focus correctly, like some sort of R. L. Stine Goosebumps haunted camera or something. Heck, not that I'm complaining too much, at least the weird angle hides my giant forehead caused by my Lack of Bangs. I'll post some "after" pictures this weekend after my makeover. I'm not sure what my co-worker is going to do to my head, but she promised me it would be "cute" which I take to mean in direct contrast to how I usually look when I show up for work every day, coffee clutched in my still pillow-creased fist. Attractive! Posted by Picasa

Saturday, November 11, 2006

Browns Mittens and Ribbed-for-Her-Pleasure Scarf


Debbie's Scarf

Bryan's Browns Mittens

Saturday, October 28, 2006

How I pass time at work.

This is why you shouldn't leave your desk for a long lunch.
She was none too pleased up on her return :)






Sunday, October 22, 2006

Local photographer I'm trying to promote without a name or phone number.

So, she goes by a different name than her real name and I can't find the post-it I had laying out with her professional name on it, but a lady I work with has managed to take some pretty deceptive camoflaging good pictures of me. I usually look like I'm dying of some sort of consumptive disease that invokes freckles and chubby steroid cheeks as a means of death, but somehow she managed to hide all that AND my Prednisone chin, which sometimes reminds me of a bullfrog, and as you can imagine, is really veerrrry attractive in person, especially when I'm slouched over with bad posture eating pickles and tea, which is actually most of the time. Anyway, if you like these, you live in the Cleveland area, and if you want her to make you look somewhat less like you're always tired, I can give you her contact information.


Monday, October 16, 2006

Wedding Pictures





Yeah, that's right, Skip's in a Star Trek outfit.





Monday, September 04, 2006

Bridesmaid dresses for Laura's wedding.

Laura is getting married in April, and I am a bridesmaid (bridesmatron?). Since I was unable to try on dresses at the big outing a few weeks ago, Nicole was nice enough to take these pictures of me trying on her top three choices. I like the black one because it has a pretty train, although the pictures don't show it. I DIDN'T like being clothespinned into dresses that were a little too big or squeezing into an insanely padded strapless bra, but apparently when you're wearing a gown and you're flat-chested, the scary bridal shop ladies will insist that you need a little help. Speaking of needing a little help, please try to ignore my facial expressions and also my hair, which has decided to just misbehave on principal. I don't know what's wrong with it or why it's rebelling, but if it keeps doing it I'm going to have to severely punish it.


Wednesday, August 30, 2006

 Skip picking at turkey.
 Weezie.
 Part of the apartment.
 
Jerome thinks there's another kitty in the mirror. Posted by Picasa

Cookery, kitties.

Jerome being a cutie pie.
Mmmmmmm......steaks.
Mushrooms and onions. For the steaks, of course.
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Thursday, August 24, 2006

Pickles, club soda, and the body of a 12 year old.

 
 
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The most hilarious car ever.

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Michigan

 
 
 
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Trip to Michigan

 
 
 
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Friday, August 18, 2006

Random Pictures

Random pictures from the past few weeks.

Uncle Ron & Aunt Cathy's Anniversary Party

Vikki's Birthday Party

Moving Weekend-the Apartment and Avon Lake

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View from the balcony.
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Joe C. helping us move.

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

My foot, the "tank" and Jerome


The Battle of the Ages...who will win? The tank? Wee Jerome? The stomping foot of doom? The hairbrush?! Stay tuned for the results of the battle!

Wednesday, June 07, 2006

Louise and Jerome


AWWWWWW!!!

Sunday, June 04, 2006

Big Dynasty hair + drunkenness = "sexy" self pictures

Last night at the wedding I accidentally had too much to drink. It wasn't my fault...every time I looked down there was another gin and tonic at my elbow. It would have been rude not to drink them, right? Exactly! Anyway, we went back to the apartment and when I took my hair down it was all 80s and fun, and...yeah. So apparently I ended up taking "sexy" self pictures, which I found in my inbox this morning. Mom and I had a good laugh. Don't judge me! At least I haven't put them up on MySpace. Yet. *shifty eyes*


*edit* I deleted the bottom one. It was just way too embarassing!

Tuesday, May 02, 2006

AHHHHH!!!!!

IT'S THE STALLION, HARRISON AMBS!!!!! Aw, isn't he just precious?!
I love google image search :)

Saturday, April 29, 2006

More of 'sconsin



Some family pictures, and the coffee can of change we stole from Bryan to use for tolls.





Sunday, April 09, 2006

Inappropriate advertising aimed at children.


One day we'll be seeing these in middle schools across America.

Monday, April 03, 2006

Pictures taken by Bryan

Louise and Jerome.
Bryan, me and Joe C at TNA Wrestling.